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Question: Write a letter of apology to my now adult son who I lost to foster care when he was 11 years old. He was adopted and I have not seen or talked to him since. I want to reconnect with him. Apologize, reconnect, and see or talk to him again in person.
Dear [Son's Name], I pause as I begin to write this letter, my heart heavy with unspoken words, feelings, and profound remorse. I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and spirits. I have spent the better part of my years grappling with the circumstance that separated us. The burden of guilt and regret has never truly left me, and it is my sincere hope that this letter will serve as the initial step towards amending the glaring gap that has taken residence between us. From the deepest recesses of my heart, I apologize for all the pain, confusion and emptiness you must have endured as a result of my failings as a parent. The circumstances that led to your removal from my care were, in no small part, a result of my own shortcomings. I wish I could rewind time and change everything. But the fact stands - I failed you during your formative years, when you needed me most. Each day that has passed without you has added to my regret and longing to tell you how sorry I am. I am sorry for the role I played in your being taken away and placed in foster care, sorry for every smile I didn't get to see, every tear I couldn't wipe, and every milestone I missed. I am apologetic for the protection I couldn't offer you, and for the love I couldn’t provide alongside it. I have wrangled with the immense guilt I bear for the inadequacy demonstrated during such a crucial stage in your life. But my regret cannot reverse the past. It is with this understanding that I seek to restart our connection, not to whisk away the pain of the past but to take responsibility and work towards healing and reconnection. To clarify, my desire to reestablish contact is far from an attempt to push into your life forcefully. Instead, I would like to offer myself an opportunity, if you permit, to make amends for the past in the best way I can, whilst respecting your feelings, boundaries, and the life you've built. If you feel ready and comfortable, I would be humbled and grateful for the opportunity to talk or meet in person, so I can tell you how remorseful and sorry I am. I wish I could have been the parent you deserved. In the end, [Son's Name], my yearning is to reconnect, to nurture a bond that was severed before it truly had the opportunity to flourish. I stand open-armed, hopeful for another chance, and to fall into the rhythm of the love that always existed, but I was unable to demonstrate effectively. I will patiently and respectfully wait for your thoughts and decision. Regardless, I want you to know that you have always been, and will always be, a part of my heart that I shall forever cherish. With sincere apologies, [Your name]
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