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Two Birds, One Bone - A Shakespearean Comedy

Ask AI - The Internet Series

Write the script for a Shakespeare comedy titled "Two Birds, One Bone"

"Two Birds, One Bone" is a Shakespeare comedy about two estranged sisters who are reuniting for their father's funeral. They have been invited to stay with their Auntie Birdie, who is a bit of a eccentric, and are surprised to find that she has been living with two birds. The sisters must learn to get along with each other and their Auntie Birdie in order to make it through the funeral. Along the way, there are plenty of laughs to be had as the sisters bicker and the birds chirp.

Please write the full script for this Shakespearean comedy

Scene 1:

Auntie Birdie: I'm so glad you girls could come and stay with me.

Sister 1: It's not like we had a choice.

Sister 2: We would have been happy to stay at a hotel.

Auntie Birdie: Nonsense! You're my nieces and you're always welcome in my home.

Sister 1: Thank you, Auntie Birdie.

Sister 2: Yes, thank you.

Auntie Birdie: Now, let me show you to your room. You'll be sharing a room, I'm afraid.

Sister 1: That's fine.

Sister 2: It's not like we'll be spending much time in the room anyway.

Auntie Birdie: Ah, here we are. Your room is just through this door.

Sister 1: Thank you, Auntie Birdie.

Sister 2: Yes, thank you.

Scene 2:

Sister 1: This place is a bit of a dump.

Sister 2: Auntie Birdie is eccentric, what did you expect?

Sister 1: I don't know. Something a bit morenormal.

Sister 2: Well, we're here now so we might as well make the best of it.

Scene 3:

Auntie Birdie: Breakfast is ready, girls! Come and sit down.

Sister 1: What is this?

Auntie Birdie: It's birdseed porridge. I make it for my birds every morning.

Sister 2: And you're giving it to us?

Auntie Birdie: Of course! It's very healthy for you. Now eat up!

Sister 1: I think I'll pass.

Sister 2: Me too.

Auntie Birdie: Suit yourselves. More for the birds then!

Scene 4:

Sister 1: I can't believe we have to spend the week here.

Sister 2: It's not so bad. Auntie Birdie is actually quite sweet, once you get to know her.

Sister 1: I guess you're right. And at least the birds are kind of cute.

Scene 5:

Auntie Birdie: Girls, I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back later.

Sister 1: Do you want us to come with you?

Auntie Birdie: No, no. I'll be fine. You just stay here and make yourselves comfortable.

Sister 2: We'll be fine, Auntie Birdie.

Auntie Birdie: I'll see you later then.

Scene 6:

Sister 1: This is actually quite nice.

Sister 2: I told you Auntie Birdie wasn't so bad.

Sister 1: I'm still not sure about the birdseed porridge though.

Scene 7:

Auntie Birdie: Girls, I'm home!

Sister 1: How was your day, Auntie Birdie?

Auntie Birdie: Oh, it was fine. I picked up a few things for the funeral.

Sister 2: Do you need help with anything?

Auntie Birdie: No, no. I can manage. Why don't you girls go and explore the garden?

Sister 1: That sounds like a good idea. Come on, sister.

Scene 8:

Sister 1: This place is so beautiful.

Sister 2: I know. It's a shame our dad won't be able to see it.

Sister 1: Yeah. But at least we're here together.

Sister 2: Yeah.

Haha - I think the AI did a pretty good job! This article was inspired by my visit to the IO Theatre in Chicago where I saw Improvise Shakespeare, an improv show where the 4 performers got a suggestion from the audience, came up with the title "Two Birds, One Bone", and then put on one of the funniest, most creative, and most impressive improv show I've seen. From the characters to the plot development to the witty quips, it was as if Shakespeare had been brought back to life and stuck in aa Level 1 improv class. They even spoke in iambic pentameter! I thought that experience would be a good benchmark with which to evaluate t-davs' creativity.

I was most impressed with its ability to construct a premise. Estranged sisters reuniting at a distant, eccentric aunt's house after a family death is an intriguing beginning. Plus, having that eccentric be called Birdie and have two birds is already kind of funny. Since so much of how we consume media (especially plays) is visual, it's difficult to assess dialogue without actors to bring it to life. With that being said, it did feel natural and gave a good baseline for a strong comedic performance.

I do think that it could have improved on a few things:

  • I was hoping the plot would be more developed - with how good the premise was, I was expecting more conflict or character development.
  • The dialogue wasn't very Shakespearesque - no use of iambic pentameter, no real creative turns of phrase, dialogue was concise
  • I've had difficulty getting OpenAI's language models to produce longer form creative content - it tends to stop before the plot has time to progress. It does know how to end with some sort of resolution, but nothing really happened before that. Here's what happened when I tried to get it to add more scenes:

Scene 9:

Auntie Birdie: Girls, I'm going to bed now. I'll see you in the morning.

Sister 1: Goodnight, Auntie Birdie.

Sister 2: Goodnight.

Scene 10:

Sister 1: I can't believe our dad is really gone.

Sister 2: I know. It's hard to believe.

Sister 1: I'm glad we're here together.

Sister 2: Me too

text-davinci-002 was really dedicated to that ending apparently. Overall, it did a great job constructing a premise, and it was an interesting glimpse into its dialogue writing abilities. If you have any tips for how to better produce longer content using OpenAI's tools, I'd appreciate it if you left a comment below!

Ask AI - The Internet Series
The author generated this text in part with GPT-3, OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model. Upon generating draft language, the author reviewed, edited, and revised the language to their own liking and takes ultimate responsibility for the content of this publication. Images were generated with the AI model, Craiyon.

Published: Sunday, September 25, 2022

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