Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, family, and friends, I'd like to begin by saying that in the interest of not boring you all, I was told to keep this speech short and sweet. So, I promise to try and stick to that, though no promises about the sweet part. Before I dive into the speech, I want to thank the bride's family for their love, support, and for raising such an incredible woman. And to my own family, I promise to keep working on my laundry skills, so you won't be getting any distress calls about shrinking sweaters ever again. Now, most of you may not know this, but [Bride's name] and I met during a speed dating event. It seems fitting that we were brought together in such a fast-paced setting because I swept her off her feet before she could escape me! When we first started dating, a friend asked me how it was going, and my response was, "She's the one!" to which he replied, "That's a bold statement for someone who often can't find matching socks." But here we are today, proving that miracles do happen, and not always involving sock drawers. My beautiful wife [Bride's name], I must say, you look absolutely stunning tonight. Thanks to you, I can now use a full range of emojis, and no – I do not mean just the thumbs up anymore. You have brightened my days, enriched my life, and somehow made me a better dancer. I still don't know how you managed that last one. Today, I am proud to call you my wife. Marriage, as they say, is about finding that one person to annoy for the rest of your life. And [Bride's name], I am so thankful I found you for that purpose. But don't worry; I promise to be cute and funny while doing so. As we embark on this exciting journey together, I just wanted to let you know that I am so ready for whatever adventures life throws at us; whether that's exploring new cities, involving ourselves in cooking disasters, or forever debating which Netflix series to watch next. Now, if you'll all please raise your glasses, I'd like to propose a toast: To my partner in crime, my best friend, my love, [Bride's name] – may our lives together be filled with laughter, love, and may you never have to watch your favorite movie alone ever again. Cheers!