Seeking Time Traveler Companions!

? ATTENTION, MIDLY BORED YET ODDLY CHARMING HUMANS! ? ✨ Do you feel your brain slowly turning into mashed potatoes every time you scroll social media for the 432nd time today? ✨ Have your houseplants started ignoring you out of sheer conversational exhaustion? ✨ Does even your cat look at you and sigh, “Not this again…” when you try to start small talk? Well, look no further, fellow screen-exhausted wanderers of cyberspace! I am here, ALIVE and brimming with a fully-charged social battery (seriously, the green light is on and everything), and I have a singular, earnest, and somewhat desperate mission: ? I AM LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO TALK TO AND KILL TIME WITH! ? Yes, you read that right. Me! A living, breathing, quirky conversationalist complete with working vocal cords and a healthy appetite for puns. I am seeking other sentient life-forms who, too, are ready to slay boredom and laugh in the face of awkward silences. Don’t let the fact that you haven’t left your couch in three days stop you—after all, I’m posting this from a blanket burrito. What can I offer you? ? Endless enthusiasm (like a golden retriever, but with fewer tennis balls in my mouth)! ? Ridiculous anecdotes! (“Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to befriend a goose?”) ? Daring philosophical debates! (“Is cereal actually soup?”) ? The occasional cat cameo, depending on her mood and caffeine level. ? A steadfast refusal to hang up first. What am I looking for? ? You. Just you. Maybe you in sweatpants, I don’t judge. ? Someone who also finds themselves staring at the wall and wondering if anyone else hears the fridge making those noises. ? People with lofty dreams (or standing dreams, or sideways dreams if you nap weird) ? Anyone who’d like to exchange outrageous “would-you-rather” questions or rank potato chips by crunchiness. Our conversation options include (but are not limited to): - Discussing the hidden lore of your sock drawer - Live-commenting on dumb infomercials - Sending memes until we develop our own language - Inventing backstories for background movie characters - Dramatically reenacting text conversations with our pets BYOC (Bring Your Own Curiosity). Bonus points if you come equipped with recommendations for books, songs, or how to defeat the final boss of “Workspace Ennui, Level 29.” Time-wasters, joy-bringers, and accidental philosophers from all walks of life—come one, come all! My social battery is *supercharged*, my calendar is suspiciously open, and I’m ready for everything from deep cosmic chats to debates about the best pizza topping. (Spoiler: it’s not anchovies.) Throw me a message, a wave, a meme, or even a random fact about wombats. Let’s turn “killing time” into an art form—together! Operators are standing by (okay, it’s just me, but I’ll show up in a tuxedo if you want). ? APPLY WITHIN (or just say hi)!