"Demonic Deals and Alien Alliances: The Blitzo Dilemma"

Certainly! Let’s imagine “Helluva Boss” and “The Ur-Quan Masters” share a universe, weaving their worlds and conflicts together:

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The Blitzo Problem:
A Crossover of "Helluva Boss" and "The Ur-Quan Masters"

The I.M.P. office had gotten used to unorthodox contracts—vengeful souls, petty grudges, the odd eldritch haunting—but nothing could have prepared them for the monumental transmission that flickered across their office screens: an alien ultimatum, delivered in the harsh, inhuman tones of the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za.

“This sector is now under Ur-Quan control. Surrender your planet or face the process of subjugation.”

Loona’s fur bristled as she ran a search on “Ur-Quan.” “Uh, boss… These space worms don’t look like they want to hire us.”

Blitzo grinned, unphased. “Oh, come on! An interstellar empire full of angry tentacle monsters? Business opportunity! We got portals to Earth, we can get to space. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen, huh?”

Moxie, ever the voice of reason (or at least anxiety), objected: “Blitzo, those things conquer and destroy entire civilizations! We’re talking planet-crushers! I think this is way above our paygrade.”

But Stolas had already materialized in a swirl of feathers and starlight, eyes wide and excited. “Ah, the Ur-Quan! Fascinating species. Did you know they possess both tremendous ruthlessness and the most tragic duality within their slave races? Perhaps, Blitzy, dear, I could introduce you to a Druuge merchant—I’ve heard they’re excellent at brokering deals, provided you ignore their, ah, labor laws…”

Within days, I.M.P. found themselves hired by a desperate scientist from the Spathi—who, in classic Spathi fashion, wanted to hire demons to “make us look scary so the Ur-Quan leave us alone!” Armed with nothing but their demonic powers, questionable morals, and Loona’s grudging knowledge of alien computer systems, the team went planet-hopping.

On the fringes of HyperSpace, their Hell portal magic skimming the edge of reality, they found themselves caught in the middle of a raging conflict: Ilwrath hunting Thraddash, the Androsynth hiding from the VUX, and all the while, the green coils of Ur-Quan dreadnoughts gliding through the starfields.

Naturally, Blitzo tried to sell I.M.P.'s services as “galactic contract assassins—any universe, any target, low rates, no refunds.” Moxie negotiated peace between the Shofixti and the Demons of the Infernal Waste (with a little help from Millie). Loona, to everyone’s shock, formed a begrudging alliance with a confused Orz being, who insisted she was “so much squishy but good for Frumple—*come into the bubble!*”

Moxie finally snapped, staring at the chaos in their wake: “We are not equipped for universe-scale politics!”

Stolas, ever serene, raised his brow. “Oh, Moxie, nobody’s ever equipped for space empire drama. That’s what makes it fun.”

As the Ur-Quan closed in, preparing for planetary dominance, Blitzo, against all odds, managed to beam a portal directly onto a Dreadnought bridge, terrifying the captains with his idea of a “hostile work environment.”

The fate of this unlikely alliance depends, as ever, on how far hellish mischief and desperate opportunism can get you… when the galaxy is at stake.

And somewhere, a Syreen captain wondered aloud, “Did anyone else hear those infernal voices on subspace just now?”

The universe got a little smaller, a lot weirder, and infinitely more chaotic.

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This story was generated by user zachrose with assistance by one of OpenAI’s large-scale language-generation model; prompts used to help generate the story are shown below.

Images were generated with OpenAI's AI system, DALL·E 2, or uploaded by the user.

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